Morgan Fratto
Project Three: Drafts / Peer Review
The Letter:
In this document attached to the picture on the right is the rough draft of my letter to my future child. I tried to be conversational as well as begin to incorporate my own experiences as to help the child understand that using music could be a way to help with their depression and anxiety.
The Video:
Attached to the document on the left is the outline I made for the video I will be creating. For the peer review, I did not have this outline with me, but I did try to explain to my peer what the video will consist of.
Peer Review:
Mariah's Comments:
I love the letter, definitely fits your subject well. I love how the letter addresses your feelings towards music and the way that it makes you feel. The description of different types of music was a good add in. Maybe you could also add in how music helped you in a situation, and rather than just stating a state a time it helped you in, you could talk about how your attitude and feelings changed and how that helped you come up with a positive solution during your hard times.
Faith's Comments:
I like your use of pathos. Possibly include how, I’m assuming, it’s your mom who is struggling, so include how she feels every day or how she thinks it affects you. I feel like you should create more of an image. Maybe include lyrics in a different font and size in order to bring more personality to the letter. Are you including music in the video? I feel like you should focus on music as one of your genres because that is the main thing you are talking about​.
Robert's Comments:
Your letter is really nice. My only reservation is that I am not really sure the purpose, I am assuming that it is to inform your child about the importance of music when dealing with these issues. If that is your purpose I feel you do a great job of doing so. Some things you can add is a different font style as well as a closing statement like "with love" or "from your loving mother". Other than that I think you should just make sure you are ready to present your project to the class and be able to articulate the conventions of your paper.